Can Nurses Bully Doctors?
When Nurses Undermine Physicians: Navigating Subtle Challenges
If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of those quiet but insidious challenges to your authority, you know it’s not easy. You walk into the hospital each day carrying the weight of your training, responsibilities, and the lives in your hands. Yet, despite your position, there can be moments when you feel subtly undermined by the very staff you work with—especially nurses.
It’s not always direct. No one yells. No one openly challenges you. Instead, a nurse may delay your orders, question your decisions in front of the team, or make you feel like you’re not in control. These small actions accumulate, like drops of water hollowing a stone. Over time, even the most confident physicians can start to second-guess themselves. You might ask, “Why me?” “Why is this happening?” It’s a feeling all too familiar to many doctors I’ve worked with.
The Hidden Struggles of Female Physicians
For female physicians, this dynamic can be even more challenging. Subtle undermining behaviors—delayed orders, questioning authority, or passive-aggressive tactics—can quietly but powerfully erode confidence.
One female internist I coached shared her experience at a large urban hospital. A senior nurse habitually delayed her orders, framing it as confusion or a need for clarification. Over time, this behavior chipped away at her confidence and made her dread team rounds. Together, we worked on recognizing the patterns, addressing the behavior directly, and rebuilding her confidence.
Why Some Physicians Are More Vulnerable
Even though you’ve worked hard, earned your credentials, and lead your team, physicians are not immune to the psychological effects of bullying. Certain traits that make you successful—your perfectionism, fear of failure, and commitment to doing things right—can also make you more vulnerable.
In The Physician as Patient, Gabbard and Myers describe how many doctors struggle with low self-esteem beneath their professional success. This makes moments of subtle resistance or questioning feel like personal attacks. Even the smallest challenges from a nurse can reinforce your deepest fears—that maybe you’re not good enough.
A Story of Transformation
Dr. Laura P. (name changed for privacy), an experienced emergency physician, reached out to me after struggling with a senior nurse who frequently questioned her decisions during team meetings. The interruptions were framed as clarifications but often undermined her authority in front of junior staff. Over time, these behaviors left Dr. Laura doubting her abilities and hesitating to assert herself in high-pressure situations.
In our coaching sessions, we worked on two key areas:
• Assertive Communication: Dr. Laura learned to address the behavior calmly and directly, using clear language such as, “I’ve made my decision, and I need it carried out without delay. We can discuss any concerns after the patient is stabilized.”
• Reframing Strategies: By understanding that the nurse’s behavior stemmed from their own frustrations and not her competence, Dr. Laura separated her self-worth from the situation.
Within weeks, she reported feeling more confident and in control, and the dynamic with her team began to shift. The nurse became more cooperative, and Dr. Laura felt empowered to lead with clarity and authority.
Why Addressing Nurse Undermining Is Essential
Subtle undermining behaviors don’t just affect you—they ripple through the entire healthcare system:
• Impact on Patients: Delays in orders or disruptions in workflow increase the risk of medical errors, compromising patient care.
• Team Dysfunction: A culture of resistance or passive-aggressive behavior undermines trust and reduces efficiency.
• Career Consequences: Prolonged exposure to undermining can lead to burnout, emotional fatigue, and even thoughts of leaving the profession.
How Coaching Can Help
At anger.doctor, we offer tailored anger management coaching to help physicians address these dynamics head-on. Our approach combines emotional intelligence, leadership strategies, and practical tools to help you reclaim your authority and improve team relationships.
• Assertiveness Training: Learn to communicate expectations clearly and handle resistance without conflict.
• Emotional Intelligence Development: Recognize your emotional triggers, manage your responses, and foster empathy within your team.
• Leadership Strategies: Build confidence and authority, ensuring you maintain control in challenging situations.
• Personalized Support: Practice handling real-life scenarios and develop strategies that align with your goals.
Take Back Control
You don’t have to live with the frustration of being undermined or second-guessed. Coaching helps you address these behaviors, rebuild confidence, and thrive as a leader.
If this sounds familiar, let’s talk. Visit anger.doctor to schedule your free consultation today. Together, we’ll create a personalized plan to help you transform frustration into focus and lead with authority.